I don't want to be the one bursting your bubble or something, I'm only 18 and have not been through a situation of this degree(so far). What you did is selfish and immature regardless of your excuses for various reasons. For a first, I don't know what you're spending all this time doing posting this on a runescape botting forum. If I were you, I'd cherish every moment I could with my kids right now cause you see, you may be gone for 12months-6 years but these kids are going to have a childhood without a father and people don't seem to understand the severity of that.
My brother died when my father abandoned my mother and I on this island when we couldn't even speak English and lived on $50 every month(Rented a hut for 4 pack of 12 eggs a month, I shit you not). Not to turn this around on me but my mother did whatever she could to put me first and never have I felt I lacked someone in my life to be there for me even though she was always the only one who worked harder than a ******** on steroids to bring bread.
You on the other hand will leave your kids stranded and opt for easier but wrong roads in life which will affect their personality around most poeple in the future. ESPECIALLY if your actions were caused when you were under the effects of alcohol.
It's the real world, wake up and stop being selfish. You gave your life to the devil. The least you could do is give your soul to your kids. To think you're a young man who's capable of finding a part time job, studying and specializing in a profession you decide to post something like this;
"I've already made my plan up I'll be selling tobacco in there to earn money and I will get a job inside so I'm able to provide for my self"
Sorry but I do not pity you one bit, you aren't a bad person but you're nowhere close to a good one.