The judge asks the boy if he wants to live with his mother. the boy says, "no, she beats me."
so the judge asks him if he wants to live with his father, and the boy replies, "no, he beats me too."
what about any of his relatives, and the response is, "no, they beat me worse."
now exasperated, the judge asks him, "so who do you want to live with, then?"
the boy replies, "can I live with the English football team? they never beat anyone."