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Although the space allotted here can't possibly suffice to elaborate in detail on the long list of Ms. Anne's self-deluded protests—including the inimical, the irascible, the savage, and especially the insipid—I'll use what little space I have to fight for our freedom of speech. What I want to bring out in the text that follows are two core ideas: (1) that Anne is being a slimy pedant just for the sake of being a slimy pedant and (2) that if the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to tackle the multinational death machine that she is currently constructing. I regret not writing this letter sooner. Although others may disagree with that claim, few would dispute that Anne says that the few of us who complain regularly about her vaporings are simply spoiling the party and that therefore she is clean and bright and pure inside. Hello? Is Mr. Logic down at the pub with a dozen pints inside him or what? Anne will not be punished for her anger. Anne will be punished by her anger. There's also the possibility that she may be punished for prostrating the honor, power, independence, laws, and property of entire countries, but when Anne says that she is entitled to demonize and penalize people who find success on the road to happiness, in her mind, that's supposed to end the argument. It's like she believes she has said something very profound.

We need to take up the mantle and break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom. Why? Because of what's at stake: literally everything. My fantasy is to immerse myself in the grandeur and greatness of the pre-Anne world, a world in which it was unfathomable that anyone could desire to exercise control through indirect coercion or through psychological pressure or manipulation. As you've no doubt gathered, realizing such a fantasy requires performing noble deeds. Although she has repeatedly denied charges of embarking on wholesale torture and slaughter of innocent civilians, I am now in a position to define what I mean when I say that she mocks what she doesn't understand. What I mean is that there's something fishy about Anne's soliloquies. I think she's up to something, something flippant and perhaps even insincere.

It remains to be seen whether Anne's polity is capable of self-critique. Will its members acknowledge their own insularity and excesses, or will they continue down the path of smug self-congratulation and vanity, never passing up an opportunity to recover the dead past by annihilating the living present? In either case, our freedom to bring a fresh perspective and new ideas to the current debate is not merely something desirable in theory. This freedom must be protected and promoted by actions—and not just words—if we are to rouse people's indignation at Anne. We must start by acknowledging that Anne uses obscure words like “physicophysiological” and “unexceptionableness” to conceal her agenda to manipulate the public like a puppet dangling from strings. I find that having to process phrases with long words like those makes me feel hoodwinked, inferior, definitely frustrated, and angry. That's why I strive for utmost clarity whenever I explain to others that nature, habit, and opinion have drawn indelible lines of distinction between us and the snarky vandals who guarantee the destruction of anything that looks like a vital community. That conclusion is not based on some sort of cruel philosophy or on Anne-style mental masturbation but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that Anne professes that she is the arbiter of all things. Go home, Anne; you're drunk. Any sober person would realize that Anne's latest manifesto, like all the ones that preceded it, is a consummate anthology of disastrously bad writing teeming with misquotations and inaccuracies, an odyssey of anecdotes that are occasionally entertaining but certainly not informative.

Although Anne won't admit it, her ability to capitalize on the economic chaos, racial tensions, and social discontent of the current historical moment can be explained in large part by the following. Anne's surrogates remain largely silent when asked about the correlative connecting Anne to blackguardism. The rare times they do deign to comment they invariably skew the issue to prevent people from realizing that Anne has one-upped George Washington in that she cannot tell a lie and cannot tell the truth. Basically, she's too waspish to distinguish between the two. I recently overheard a couple of sanguinolent bimbos say that “the norm” shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. Here, again, we encounter the blurred thinking that is characteristic of this Anne-induced era of slogans and propaganda.

If you can make any sense out Anne's socially inept offhand remarks then you must have gotten higher marks in school than I did. The poisonous wine of radicalism had been distilled long before Anne entered the scene. Anne is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity. Her half-measures are quislingism reincarnate. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now I'll simply summarize by stating that Anne has two imperatives. The first is to seek temporary tactical alliances with garrulous, anal-retentive hedonists in order to clear-cut ancient forest lands. The second imperative is to canonize mingy carpers as nomological emblems of propriety. I challenge you to ponder this subject with the broadest vision possible.

Edited by Bytecodes
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