What the **** did you just ****ing say about me, you male pig? I'll have you know I graduated top of my Women's Studies class, and I've been involved in numerous demonstrations against oppression of womenkind, and I have over 300 signatures on my petition. I am trained in debate tactics and I'm the top speaker in the entire Feminist Frequency. You are nothing to me but just another cis scum. I will reeducate the **** out of you with feminism the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ****ing words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, male oppressor. As we speak I am contacting my public network of activists across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, misogynist. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your worldview. You're ****ing dead, nerd. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can disprove your biased theories in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with no preparation time. Not only am I extensively trained in rhetorics, but I have access to the entire funding of the Tropes vs Women in Video Games project and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable opinions off the face of the Internet, you rapist. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ****ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you godessdamn idiot. I will rain empowerment all over woman and your cisprivilege will drown in it. Your rape culture is over, man.
What's this you've said to me, my good friend? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in conflict resolution, and Ive been involved in numerous friendly discussions, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in polite discussions and I'm the top mediator in the entire neighborhood. You are worth more to me than just another target. I hope we will come to have a friendship never before seen on this Earth. Don't you think you might be hurting someone's feelings saying that over the internet? Think about it, my friend. As we speak I am contacting my good friends across the USA and your P.O. box is being traced right now so you better prepare for the greeting cards, friend. The greeting cards that help you with your hate. You should look forward to it, friend. I can be anywhere, anytime for you, and I can calm you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my chess set. Not only am I extensively trained in conflict resolution, but I have access to the entire group of my friends and I will use them to their full extent to start our new friendship. If only you could have known what kindness and love your little comment was about to bring you, maybe you would have reached out sooner. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now we get to start a new friendship, you unique person. I will give you gifts and you might have a hard time keeping up. You're finally living, friend.
What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll **** fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now, lad.