Serious Question: How to meet new people(kinda long)?

[NoahTheWeebWolf]

For the sake of simplicity I am going to break this up into four parts.

 

I. Background

 

I have three friends from college. Two girls both live out of state and one guy who literally lives two minutes from me but he's busy joining the coast guard. No friends from before college/growing up and I couldn't bring myself to stay in contact with the people from Law School after I left. Granted I had a few friends but it took me 10 weeks of the 16 week semester to talk to anyone besides my first friend I made at orientation. 

 

II. Law School Friends... Try to reconnect or cut losses?

 

Just want to clarify I didn't fail Law School I just decided I needed more work and life expeirnece and to improve socially. Granted I did not do as well as I wanted to on the finals(which literally make 100% of your grade). I was at a top 20 Law School so leaving was not an easy decision to make...

 

I definitely stood out quite a bit being the only guy with long hair(not to mention I was the youngest student in our section with the average age being mid twenty's-early thirties). For the few times I got randomly called on to discuss a case people were generally impressed by my abilities. The two times near the end of the term I went to the bars with my classmates they had a lot of fun with me, and I discovered the joys of alcohol. Part of me feels I should open up communications with some of my few friends I had, but I also feel it may be too late they probably forgot about me, and I should just cut my losses.

 

III. Going forward what should I do?

 

I realize I am kind of a shut in, and most of my hobbies are... shall we say typically done at home/alone(no not masturbating lol). Besides I feel it'd be good to go out of my comfort zone and join a group that's not just about games/anime. I was thinking maybe a social anxiety group, but that's kind of a bummer if that's all I can work with. That said I am hoping to find at least one other group before I go with a social anxiety support group(which may very well benefit me but still).

 

IV. Current situation

 

For now, 80% of my time is just looking for a job, and once that's taken care of I am going to be able to prioritize joining a group. I am just planning ahead for now. Don't worry I am not one of those basement dweller types I do take care of myself physically, and I did really well in college(3.94 GPA ftw/business bachelors in only 2.5 years). I just never had much of a life outside of school/work and my parents were not very social people either so it's not that surprising I turned out this way.

 

Thanks for reading and I look forward to your hopefully serious advice.

Going to sleep now will check back in the morning.

[Casper]

 

For the sake of simplicity I am going to break this up into four parts.

 

I. Background

 

I have three friends from college. Two girls both live out of state and one guy who literally lives two minutes from me but he's busy joining the coast guard. No friends from before college/growing up and I couldn't bring myself to stay in contact with the people from Law School after I left. Granted I had a few friends but it took me 10 weeks of the 16 week semester to talk to anyone besides my first friend I made at orientation. 

 

II. Law School Friends... Try to reconnect or cut losses?

 

Just want to clarify I didn't fail Law School I just decided I needed more work and life expeirnece and to improve socially. Granted I did not do as well as I wanted to on the finals(which literally make 100% of your grade). I was at a top 20 Law School so leaving was not an easy decision to make...

 

I definitely stood out quite a bit being the only guy with long hair(not to mention I was the youngest student in our section with the average age being mid twenty's-early thirties). For the few times I got randomly called on to discuss a case people were generally impressed by my abilities. The two times near the end of the term I went to the bars with my classmates they had a lot of fun with me, and I discovered the joys of alcohol. Part of me feels I should open up communications with some of my few friends I had, but I also feel it may be too late they probably forgot about me, and I should just cut my losses.

 

III. Going forward what should I do?

 

I realize I am kind of a shut in, and most of my hobbies are... shall we say typically done at home/alone(no not masturbating lol). Besides I feel it'd be good to go out of my comfort zone and join a group that's not just about games/anime. I was thinking maybe a social anxiety group, but that's kind of a bummer if that's all I can work with. That said I am hoping to find at least one other group before I go with a social anxiety support group(which may very well benefit me but still).

 

IV. Current situation

 

For now, 80% of my time is just looking for a job, and once that's taken care of I am going to be able to prioritize joining a group. I am just planning ahead for now. Don't worry I am not one of those basement dweller types I do take care of myself physically, and I did really well in college(3.94 GPA ftw/business bachelors in only 2.5 years). I just never had much of a life outside of school/work and my parents were not very social people either so it's not that surprising I turned out this way.

 

Thanks for reading and I look forward to your hopefully serious advice.

Going to sleep now will check back in the morning.

 

Just a few questions because prior to college it was pretty safe to say I was fairly introverted mainly keeping to myself and a close knit group of friends. I was no-where near anti-social but wasn't the coolest kid on the block.

 

For me personally. I have broken that introverted sense, and its really safe to say I am now extroverted mainly because of the things I experienced in college as well as a significant rise in my own self confidence. 

 

Its easily to make the change and make some new friends. You got this

 

1. Do you think your appearance affects your confidence with people?

2. Have you made any attempts to make friends at law school?

3. Do you still live at home with your parents or off at Uni?

4. Not sure how relevant this question is... But are the people there weird or..?

 

I'd love to talk to you in voice chat or something as typing doesn't do anything justice, and it would be x10 easier to get a message across/ask opened questions ect.

Edited February 24, 2016 by Chef Curry

[Volta]

Go to music festivals

[NoahTheWeebWolf]

Just a few questions because prior to college it was pretty safe to say I was fairly introverted mainly keeping to myself and a close knit group of friends. I was no-where near anti-social but wasn't the coolest kid on the block.

 

For me personally. I have broken that introverted sense, and its really safe to say I am now extroverted mainly because of the things I experienced in college as well as a significant rise in my own self confidence.

 

1. Do you think your appearance affects your confidence with people?

2. Have you made any attempts to make friends at law school?

3. Do you still live at home with your parents or off at Uni?

4. Not sure how relevant this question is... But are the people there weird or..?

 

I'd love to talk to you in voice chat or something as typing doesn't do anything justice, and it would be x10 easier to get a message across/ask opened questions ect.

 

1. It's proven ones self-esteem will inevitably dictate how one communicates. Having said that I am fine with my appearance. I used to be 250 pounds when I was a teen now I am 175 at 6'1 so no complaints here. Granted I do have Vietnam style flashbacks of when I was the fat kid and I cringe. Sometimes I still see myself as "That fat kid" even if there are no obvious physical signs, I was once fat because psychology is a bitch.

 

2. Like I said I tried, but it took me 10 weeks to make another friend beside the one friend I made at the end of orientation.

 

3. I live with my mom, but it's really not that bad. Rent is only $850 a month fand electricity is paid for by the land lord, so we're both saving tons of money. Plus I have no student loans so any money I make now is basically mine to keep/save up, invest, etc. I do not plan to live with her forever just for the next 2-3 years before I go for my MBA. By the way, I lived on my own in Law School half way across the country and the earliest I lived on my own was when I was 12 at a boarding school so again it's not like I can't handle being on my own.

 

4. At Law School? I guess that depends on your own personal definition of "weird." To me, I don't judge anyone, and I think we're all unique in some way and I didn't feel negatively about anyone(although I felt they did of me, to some extent).

 

Yeah that sounds like a fantastic idea perhaps I will send you my skype in a pm when I wake up and we can go from there.

[Dieze]

When you do get a job, that should help as you'll be in an environment again where your having to speak with colleagues etc that your working with, and should be easy to pick up friends there if they're of a similar age group.

For example,I get on well with a group of guys from work, and we regularly now play football (soccer for you amerifags) after work which is a good laugh

[ANIMA VESTRA]

find a hobby / club to meet people with

 

go clubbing, liquid courage is advised.

 

raves/music festivals are a great way to meet new and friendly people.

[Casper]

find a hobby / club to meet people with

 

go clubbing, liquid courage is advised.

 

raves/music festivals are a great way to meet new and friendly people.

Can confirm that music festivals are lit af. 

 

The only issue is I don't really find raves fun sober. Drop pills like they are candy

[Rxd]

Join a sports club( boxing, wrestling, etc)

 

[NoahTheWeebWolf]

find a hobby / club to meet people with

 

go clubbing, liquid courage is advised.

 

raves/music festivals are a great way to meet new and friendly people.

 

 

Can confirm that music festivals are lit af. 

 

The only issue is I don't really find raves fun sober. Drop pills like they are candy

I like the idea, but I am really not into parties. I prefer smaller groups and getting to really know a few people on a very deep level and vice versa.

A small but deeper net to catch close life long friends if you will. That said a hobby group is probably the most I could do at this point.

 

I can't stand having thousands of acquaintances/"friends" been there done that which is why I only have seven Facebook friends now(3 of which are the ones I mentioned above so my circle is extremely small it just sucks not having anyone around now). I used to have 200+ facebook "friends" and I felt so stressed out all the time and could never talk to most people.

[BloodRush20]

Sounds crazy, meet a few people that share a balance of your ideas, military members about our age wise are a great balance most love games and anime but also enjoy working on cars, going on hikes, getting out and having a good time. They tend to try to get out after being stuck inside for a few days and socialize. I mean honestly I understand its hard meeting new people especially if you have social anxiety. I would love to discuss this further if you want just pm me. Maybe even hit up a voice chat once you feel comfortable 

[Stress]

Swipe right.

[NoahTheWeebWolf]

Swipe right.

Could you please give actual advice?

It's fine if not but if you can't but please don't spam on my serious question.

[Stress]

Could you please give actual advice?

It's fine if not but if you can't but please don't spam on my serious question.

Lol sorry,

I'm retardedly shy so meeting new people is definitely not my strong-suit.

Any time I meet new people it's usually when I'm out at a concert or some sort of outdoor event.

If you can play any instruments put an ad out for a jam session with some people and see how it goes,

Not helpful I know sorry

Good luck with the job hunt btw

[NoahTheWeebWolf]

Lol sorry,

I'm retardedly shy so meeting new people is definitely not my strong-suit.

Any time I meet new people it's usually when I'm out at a concert or some sort of outdoor event.

If you can play any instruments put an ad out for a jam session with some people and see how it goes,

Not helpful I know sorry

Good luck with the job hunt btw

No it's fine thanks for your input.

I know that feeling =(.

I barely get out unless I am doing something essential(like grocery shopping, getting the mail, etc) so you're ahead of me there. I have never even gone to a big event like a live concert, sports game, etc. It's kind of exciting thinking about going out there and doing stuff other people have gotten to do for years. I am still really new to music actually and only got serious about it back in 2012(even then I still have more to discover, not a die-hard fan of any group). I do tend to mostly perfer various metal and electronic sub genres though. Retro game soundtracks make me feel really nostalgic, so they're really fun to listen to at times. It's kind of nice to listen to some classical music too. My tastes are all over the place, but I am far from an expert in any genre. My best friend's entire life is music, and her favorite genre is Black Metal, and her tastes are as varied as really heavy stuff like death and black metal all the way to cute girls singing J-Pop and more.

Sorry for typing so much that went on longer than I thought. All that said if you have any suggestions for bands, genres, etc I am always happy to discover something new. I used to play the keyboard when I was 10 never really experienced I just had fun. My dads a musician, by the way, he's even played along some big names and the largest audience he had was 5000 people. I could send you his website if you like.

Thanks for wishing me luck; I am sure I will find something soon. I almost got a job as an account manager(not remotely as impressive as it sounds) and of 120 people, I was one of the 15 who made it to the 3rd and final round of interviews. Of course when I learned it was basically a comission only  outdoor business to business sales job where id have to walk around in a suit and tire into random stores and sell shit I said fuck that. Either way it was a huge confidence boost knowing that I could blend in so well and pass off as "normal" over a prolonged period of time.

[Stress]

And if you want something that gives you a confidence boost and looks good on the resume, try volunteering somewhere. Habitat for Humanity or other charity-like affiliates always have volunteer positions available for whatever you're interested in. Not only does it keep you used to getting up and going to work, it on its own could lead into a position somewhere through people you meet if your work ethic is recognized.

And like I said, someone sees that you've volunteered at a charity on your resume, that always looks good. Just a suggestion. Edited February 25, 2016 by Stress