Hannibal_ Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 I have no idea where to start, and i have no idea where im supposed to post this. But I want help? Also im finding it hard to catalog my thoughts. So for you all to understand, and im not going to go into great detail but around 6 years ago (which is roughly a Quarter of my life) I met a girl and at the time I had massive self worth problems so I didn't want to waste peoples time. Long story short, she fell in love with me. I allow myself to feel loved, but i have no idea what love feels like so i have no idea if what i feel is normal. It was the first time i was given any sort of acceptance since my best friend passed away the year before. 4 years later we moved in together. she left her family of 300 miles away for me. And we got engaged. Now i wont tell you that parts of the relationship weren't good, at the beginning it was great. But she was abusive after realizing how much power she could wield over me. I got rid of all of my friends. I got rid of most of my family. but i clung to the idea that she was love. anyway we got engaged. and its only been the passed year that ive really sort of grew a backbone and realized that relationships are meant to be give and take, not just a dictatorship. So I took my then fiance out for food. And ultimately broke it off with her. this was around a week ago. When i was with her, there was this other girl. Ive known this other girl for around 8 years as i live next door to her. But ive only really started talking to her around the end of last year. It was a complete accident. When we started talking i actually felt something for her. It was weird because all i wanted to do was talk to her. We met at a party for a mutual friend. I was about to leave probably around 8:00pm, i had said bye to everyone...Then i saw her leaning up against the bandit machine. Im good friends with her parents and i went to say bye to them and a couple of mutual friends that me and her parents share. We spoke until closing time. And then we left together. I just simply loved her company. I didn't cheat on my then partner but i wanted to be with this other girl because of the way she made me feel. Anyway she invited me to a party the following month around april 1st. I went and i brought my then partner. who i will refer to for ease as 'A' and i will refer to the other girl as 'R' we turned up at the door and 'r' invited me into the house 'a' stayed close with me and we sat and drank until she started having a go at me for being there when we 'should be doing what she wanted' I took 'a' home, but ultimately had had enough of the shit. So i decided to go back. me and 'r' started talking to me asking if 'a' was my girlfriend and i just looked at her and really shrugged my shoulders and said 'aye', 'R' asked me again another 2 times later in the evening and both times i replied in the same manner. She ended the night with another man. I found out from her mother the day after that she was no longer single. and this twisted my insides. This really broke deep. I decided the best course of action was to go and drink. So i went to the local later that evening and my parents where there as well as her parents. Now mine and her mother where both really drunk, and they where just sitting there talking about my past. I listened in for a minute until she told 'r's mother that i liked her a lot. And that when 'r's mother replied with she told me the same thing and her sister agreed. I spent the rest of the night talking to her sister and mother about the fact that she had a boyfriend now, and i was really broken up about it even though it shouldn't matter i cared. I went to see 'r' at work and spoke to her mother about my relationship and how it was failing. I decided that it was time to break it off with 'A' and 'R' Heard it all. Next thing i know, probably around a day later she breaks up with her boyfriend. (this was all around April time) Last week i finally manned up and took my life back and i can honestly say its the hardest thing ive had to do. But now I cant even speak to 'R', whenever i try to message her i make a fool out of myself and whenever i see her i cant bring myself to say whats on my mind? I want to tell her everything, the way that i feel? I dont care if she doesn't feel the same Its just something i think i need to do. I would love to think that we could be mates, or more than mates(because of that feeling) But i cant talk to her. Everything that i do say to her via text or in person comes out wrong. What Can I do to overcome my all of a sudden tongue tie, and actually speak to her? I think the problem that i have is that i know now that she got with the guy to get to me. it hasn't been said in black and white but it has been implied. Also i think my problem is that im pretty scared that she no longer feels anything for me. this is a month ago. i feel guilty for breaking up with my ex. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mainio Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Long story short he says 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deceiver Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 the only solution is to eat her after you dismember her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Switzzz Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 (edited) Find a good moment, grab her and kiss her. No words need to be said Edited June 20, 2017 by Switzzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drapi Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 The longer u wait the worse tbh, told from experience. You just need to get over with it and just ask her out and see how will that go 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volta Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eliot Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 not sure if copy pasta or Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugsinmycode Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 The best advice in this situation is assume that it will not work out. I think a lot of the "nothing comes out right" is because you're nervous now. When you were still dating "a" you saw it as impossible to be with her, so there was no pressure. The problem is the pressure is on now because you realize you now have something to lose (because you actually have a chance to be with her). In my opinion the best way is to just assume that it won't work out, but hope for the best. It certainly seems like thats the problem at this point. As for the whole "she dated a guy to get to me", did it not work? Would you still be with "a" if she hadn't? Maybe you should be greatful that she affected change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayFamily Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Go up there with confidence & simply ask her if she wants to go out sometime? What's the big deal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 https://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-ways-to-embrace-ending-friendships-and-relationships/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannibal_ Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 14 hours ago, Eliot said: not sure if copy pasta or nah i wrote it. in a pretty bad place atm irl. R has went on holiday for a couple of weeks so i have a bit of time to think. 9 hours ago, Charlotte said: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-ways-to-embrace-ending-friendships-and-relationships/ cheers been a good read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
