LOOOL I think it depends in the context and situation more than being friends with mods. If I'm talking with a friend and he calls me stupid and I call him a fag, we're obviously joking and neither one of us are taking it seriously.
If someone posts something I don't like and I tell him, "shut the fuck up, faggot", that's a totally different context from joking with a friend and should warrant a ban.
The manner in which it's said should determine the punishment. If you're joking with a friend, it should be ok so long as you keep it under control. If you're talking to some random person and suddenly curse at them, that's another thing all together.
An opinion is good. Everyone has their own and it's a symbol of your own free will and independence and how you think. You can't really say ones opinion is correct while another is wrong since it's what you think... But some things just need to be kept to yourself. Just because you have an opinion about something doesn't necessarily mean you should go blurt it out, especially when it can be seen as offensive and when it's directed towards a specific person.