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NoahTheWeebWolf

Serious question: Traditionally do guys treat girls when they hang out(friends)

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Please keep in mind I spent the majority of the past three years studying and had literally no time/energy to hang out with the few friends I had(and most respected that, and we just talked through facebook). Before that growing up, I didn't really have any friends. That said I am running a bit low on experience. Of course, It's not like my hard work in college didn't pay off I mean I am set to go to a really amazing Law School this fall, and I have a good scholarship in place but regrettably I fudged up socially by not going out more.

I graduated college recently as most of you know and now summer vacations here. So now I finally have the chance to hang out with some friends from college. Most likely, the first person I am going to hang out with is a female friend of mine as she and I already talked about hanging out when I had time, and we have fun plans set for that day. Problem is I don't really feel comfortable treating her to everything because I don't want her to get the wrong idea(forgot to mention she started dating someone a month  after we met last year, and I totally respect their relationship). I just don't feel it'd be appropriate for me to pay for her stuff, but I also don't want to be rude incase I am supposed to or something.

It's even more complex because back when we became friends I remember she told me how she found me attractive(she even said it was cute how shy I was). So like if someday we get the chance to date I hope she doesn't think back to that one time we hung out, and I didn't pay for her or whatever. Ugh I am so awkward lol.
 
Anyways thanks in advance for your help =).
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in my opinion if you were to pay for her meal or whatever she might think thats a sign that you like her - which if you do fair enough but if you just want to be a friend maybe don't :P or offer to pay but don't be forceful about it - like if you were on a date you'd be like 'no i'm gona pay' but if she wants to just allow her :D

but hey...im 17 i don't know much about the logistics of loveee

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In all honesty, even if she's your friend, she should still pay for her share. And in the case that you like her, tell her how you feel

Great point that's how I feel too.

Ugh... That's an entirely different thing I am going to have to deal with down the road =(. Its going to be super awkward for me to tell her someday.

 

Growing up I only had 3 crushes and each rejected me which is not surprising because I was 100 pounds overweight growing up. Granted I am no longer remotely fat anymore and there's not even a sign I used to be fat but still...

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Also I have to point out that not all girls like to have a guy pay for them, even if it's just small stuff. I once saw a girl I really liked, which I hang around with for a couple of months, Sometimes I picked small things up for her that I through her apartment needed, and after some time she got really pissed at me for paying it.

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Quit defining yourself as socially awkward / complex / shy / all that other bullshit, you're setting yourself up for failure.

Social weaknesses tend to come from social inexperience: go practice and stop blaming that fear on bs self-imposed personality traits.

 

You need to stop overthinking this.

Just fucking tell her what's on your mind, it's not like you're facing a moral dilemma or anything: it's an old-fashioned, useless, sexist tradition. Just talk about it, if she makes a big deal out of it -> NEXT

 

Easy peazy jeezy

 

Edited by Botre
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its socially acceptable to pay for something for a woman. A drink, a fast food meal etc. buying everything for someone who is in a relationship will give the wrong impression. When i go out with a friend of mine ive known since school (now 24) we go halfs on everything. Or she gets what she wants and i get my stuff. Don't get hung up on who pays for what, talk to her about it, if your friends you will have a good laugh about it. trust me.

If you need any advice pm me im very good at reading situations and people.

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Quit defining yourself as socially awkward / complex / shy / all that other bullshit, you're setting yourself up for failure.

Social weaknesses tend to come from social inexperience: go practice and stop blaming that fear on bs self-imposed personality traits.

 

You need to stop overthinking this.

Just fucking tell her what's on your mind, it's not like you're facing a moral dilemma or anything: it's an old-fashioned, useless, sexist tradition. Just talk about it, if she makes a big deal out of it -> NEXT

 

Easy peazy jeezy

 Well said

I didn't deny my inexperience, although I do feel as if I have an innate level of unusual shyness(perhaps that's not good to think about that way as you said).

I think I am just going to talk with her later today or tomorrow, and we'll make plans. I am probably going to New York to visit my brother for two weeks too so that'l give me better experiences socially as well.

I do need to get out more that's for sure, and this summer is going to give me the perfect opportunity.

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