Whats so great about an Ethiopian blowjob? You know she is going to swallow.

How does the man in the moon cut his hair? eclipse it

Delete this please

Edited February 23, 201411 yr by osiris801

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair? A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.

I got talking to a woman in a bar last night.

 

"How comes you're only drinking orange juice?" I asked.

 

"I'm pregnant." she replied.

 

"I thought you were because your belly is sticking right out," I smiled, "But I didn't want to ask just incase you were just a fatty. How far gone are you?"

 

She said, "2 weeks."

 

Idk if you guys heard this but... Your mom's so fat she has enough chins for 99range

My picture says it all lol

which is the same as the song black and yellow 

 

 

 

your teeth: D

 

In soviet russia people were waiting on a foodline que for food. After 2 hours one man said, "I can't take this, I'll go kill Gorbatshov!" Other men were against the idea, but then let the man go. Few hours later the man came back and people were asking "Well how did it go?", "Did you do it?". And the man answered, "Fuck no! There was even longer que!"

Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.

What do you call an Ethiopian that takes a shit? A show off

Goodluck to all.

Little Johnny's teacher noticed that he was sporting a black eye. She asked him what happened, and he replied, "Ma'am, you remember I told you how I sleep on the floor next to my parent's bed? Well, last night, my dad asked me if I was still awake, I said yes and then he punched me in the face." 

 

"Ok, Johnny", the teacher said, trying to help, " the next time your dad asks you if you're still awake, don't answer, just lay still and pretend to be asleep." 

 

All went well, until a few weeks later, Little Johnny came to class with another black eye. The teacher asked him why he didn't follow her advice. 

 

Johnny explained, "Ma'am, I tried to, when dad asked me if I was awake, I kept quiet and lay really still, and pretended to be asleep, but then Dad said 'I'm coming', and Mom said 'I'm coming too', and I didn't want them to go anywhere without me, so I shouted, 'Let me just put on my slippers, I'm coming too' and that's when I got punched in the face."

Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic." Father: "Why?" Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'" Father: "But that's right!" Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'" Father: "What's the fucking difference?" Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"

"Doctor doctor, i got a steering wheel down my pants its driving me NUTS!"