It's been hard for me to come to terms with my grandmas sudden demise. She was only 83 years old and was extremely ill since December 2016 where she was hospitalized and bedridden ever since. Yesterday she passed away at 12AM. She left behind 6 children and 15 grand children and two great grand children. My grandma lost her husband (my grandad) 26 years before I was even born (I am 17 and a half). My grandma suffered from a stroke 20 years ago and lost the ability to speak and struggled to walk (she'd have to walk with those assist things I don't know what they're called or she'd be in a wheel chair). For 46 years she's suffered, never once did she give up on our whole family. She always tried her best to communicate and show love to us. Yes sometimes she was moody but who's grandparents aren't moody from time to time. Just yesterday my grandma was in bed and I walked up to her and said hello (she had Alzheimer's and usually forgot me or other people in the family ) yesterday however she remembered me and smiled back at me. I never felt better. I've been depressed for a while now and I've always had the feeling that my family hated me but I always knew my grandma never did. She loved me a lot even though she couldn't verbally say it or physically show it always.
I do have a regret though. Just yesterday, after visiting her I decided I was going to go visit her again today but I was busy today and didn't get the chance to go and I seriously regret making that decision. However, I know she died in peace with my family surrounding her she never died alone.
Grandma, wherever you are I hope you are safe and sound and are at peace I hope you and grandad are both fine and are reunited. Please wait for me for I shall join your company again one day and I can't for wait that day to see your beautiful smile.
Today well yesterday seeing as it's 1AM and Tuesday right now, I led her funeral prayers in front of 300 people. I helped in her burial and lowered her into her grave with my uncles, my dad and my 2 elder cousin brothers and younger cousin brothers. It gave me the closure that was needed and it brought our whole family closer together.
You guys deserve to know what happens in my life and I urge you all those who have grandparents left to cherish your time with them because you don't know when they will leave you. I kissed her on the forehead and held her hand one last time but I would give everything up just to see her eyes open and for her to smile at me again.