I have a son

I call him... Death...

Which is Short for... Death Metal Rooster

 

It's a pretty wild story how my friend Ashley and I became the proud parents of death metal rooster. Can't really talk about it in full detail it'd probably too hardcore to handle. True story....

 

Long story short after a night of some most radical partying; I woke up one morning  and I found this little guy hiding in my pantry.... Just chillin... Like a villain... eating my funyuns... honey nut cheeriors... Drinking all my mountain dew...

Yeah I was a little bummed out at first but... Turns out he has some sick death metal grows so I was like.. Uh... F yes?

I forgave the little dude and we became best buds ever since.

 

However I realized I needed another person to help be the mom(or dad but I don't roll like that). So I called up my friend Ashley to tell her how I am a father now with the hopes of getting some parental advice cause... Yeah sure I am 20 year old dude who's responsible for the most part (21 in 2 more weeks) but I am a pretty wild so I couldn't go in alone.  Now in a 90,s sitcom style adventure we decided to raise him until he grows big and strong so he can travel north in order to find the other Death Metal Roosters of his clan in time for the harvest festival.

 

This is our first ever family portrait to commemorate the day we found him .

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10489794_850082971668599_4268887088222347366_n.jpg?oh=5b49e0d4ef5f710e9df4aa3d7864a3bf&oe=545BDAEB&__gda__=1417224065_c43afa7fda9da3922cca87e84550abbb

 

This is him singing by the way it's so adorable =)

I cringed....

I thought it was a real human child

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10489794_850082971668599_4268887088222347366_n.jpg?oh=5b49e0d4ef5f710e9df4aa3d7864a3bf&oe=545BDAEB&__gda__=1417224065_c43afa7fda9da3922cca87e84550abbb

You guys a lesbo couple? they both look like chicas

I cringed....

Why did you look in a mirror?

lol i can't see myself ever having kids, people only want them because they're cute as babies, when they get older, they regret having them. Having been around kids for a long time, i have developed a love-hate thing with kids, they're okay when they don't cry or do any other stupid crap, but i get mad when they do the opposite. Pretty selfexplanatory. As for the post you made, i actually thought you were talking about a real kid, nice twist lol

There's so much cringe in this thread. 

Why did you look in a mirror?

 

Asks me to ignore him, doesn't ignore me.

 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We are currently living in Somalia. By we I mean by 2 wives and 7 kids.

Asks me to ignore him, doesn't ignore me.

 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

yes i want kids and yes i want to eat yours

No but I probably will when I get married if this is a serious topic. xd

I wonder if I do. O.o

never fucking ever

I read the first part, started the video, stopped reading.