Orphan's Top Cooking Tips for Lazy Cunts

[Spookz]

With just a few ingredients you can eat well and quickly. Staples of your kitchen should be

 

Cabbage (just get the whole one, they're cheap as shit)

Dark soy

White pepper (black pepper isn't as good)

Sesame seeds (garnish, not needed)

Spring onions (garnish, not needed)

Rice (MiGoreng too if you're a noodlefag)

American mustard

Chicken

 

Creating that typical Chinese savory flavor is easy as shit, have a pan on high with what you'd like seasoned (doesn't need oil), add some dark soy and white pepper (you can add more, go easy at the start). Doing this with rice or noodles is delicious. Start by chucking rice and some cabbage/lettuce (chopped finely) into a pan on high, then adding your soy/pepper. Cook until the vegetable of choice is wilted down, but still has a crunch to it. This can be done in a microwave, but it isn't as good.  You can choose to add your garnish(es) before or after, just make sure if you use spring onions, they're sliced very finely. This goes very well with a seared chicken breast if you'd like it with a protein. Rice and chicken cooking at end of post.

 

American mustard is a great condiment that also has very little calories. You can mix it with tomato sauce, creating a sweet and tart sauce for breakfasts. A quick breakfast with this sauce could be eggs and toast or a bacon sandwich, which would be microwaved(or not) bacon and toasted bread. It can also be used as a base for a salad dressing. Mix it with oil, water or vinegar (whatever you have in the house) and season with salt and pepper. 

 

Rice is super easy to cook, even though people still manage to fuck it up. 1 cup of rice to 1.5 cups water, start it on medium-high, then change it to low when there's steam and cover with a lid, should take ~15-20. You can leave it there for an hour on low and it will still be fine.

 

Searing chicken is easy and results in a delicious and lean meal. You'll want to make sure the meat your cooking with is as even as possible. Chicken breasts can be evened out by first cutting into the thickest part of the breast, and butterflying (folding it out) while still keeping it in one piece. After which, you can just punch it until it's properly even (takes like 10 seconds), or whatever else you can think of. A teaspoon of oil should be enough to sear it. Start the chicken off in a hot pan on high, changing it to medium, then flip after a golden sear has been achieved, changing the temp back to high. The chicken should be cooked if it feels like when you poke your lower wrist with one finger, after which, let it rest for three minutes, put it back in the pan if still raw. Make sure you wash your hands after handling raw chicken, and do not reuse surfaces it has touched until washed. 

 

Microwaving bacon does not result in a perfect cook, but cooks bacon quickly and easily. For this you'll need a plate, bacon and paper towels. Place the bacon on the plate and cover with paper towels (like two sqaures). Cook for 3minutes then flip, depending on your microwave the other side should take 1-3 minutes.

 

If you ever make macaroni and cheese, add spring onion and bacon to it. 

 

Post results if you follow up :^)

 

[Kim]

Sorry we're not Lazy Cunts 

[Rhodry]

To much effort mate, i'll just stick with my shrimp on a barbie.

[Decode]

Orphan 4 head chef

[jdog1989]

I've got 99 cooking mate.

 

Thanks anyway.

[porkcow]

okay i'll do it

[Krys]

tl;dr

[Spookz]

tl;dr

 

[Bucket1337]

10/10 wont try