FALADOR, GILENIOR – After a restless turn of events, twenty-three year old Stephen Collins was arrested by local authorities after embedding an axe inside a one-hundred year old yew tree. Citing his previous activity, Collins states how he “did not macro”, and that this was a “mistake by Jagex”. Authorities believe that Collins had committed the crime after spending a twenty-four hour binge session on popular MMORPG RuneScape, at which point his power was cut. Forensics have reported that a trail of Doritos and four two-litre bottles of urine were found in Collins’ household.
   Collins, who referred to himself as StephenMan48, told The Daily Bee that he had “reported twelve bots and nothing happened”. It was later revealed that Collins was referring to bystanders who attempted to stop him. Collins has gone on record saying that the local authorities are “noobs” and urged to be “unbanned”.
   Collins is currently awaiting trial for one charge of public indecency, and one charge of tree felling. He may be facing up to six months community service, and his trial will be held sometime in September.

 

(Source)

 

I recently started this satirical "news" blog and will soon expand to a website. I enjoy writing, however I usually write creative literature (which may be why the style is inconsistent or the grammar a bit repetitive). Always looking for opinions or stuff to write about

lol that's pretty funny:P goodjob haha

lol that's pretty funny:P goodjob haha

 

Thanks! I have a few posts lined up so you should definitely follow the blog ;)

I draw my inspiration from sites like The Onion and ClickHole as you might be able to tell :p

Quality site

hahah oh man, keep these up yeah

Quality site

 

 

hahah oh man, keep these up yeah

 

Thanks guys! I already have a few more articles written, and I am in the process of writing more. They will be queued daily so I don't post them all at once :p

 

Get out normie reeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

:^)

Hahahaha that gave me a good laugh! Keep up the good work!

Hahahaha that gave me a good laugh! Keep up the good work!

 

Thanks! I've written about 4 other "articles" of stupid shit that I come up with off the top of my head. I think I'm beginning to grasp the basics for writing satirical articles like The Onion or ClickHole

This is great! Keep it up, my man. You're funny and really know how to write!

lol! Hope you make more.

That was funny as f** lol